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Print Advice: My Brother is Paranoid
by Lynette Hoy, NCC, LCPC
I am the older sister of a 17-year-old depressed and very paranoid brother. He lives by himself in his own flat in a very nice area. Yet he has boarded up all his windows from the inside because he thinks his neighbours are watching his every move. He doesn't like to go out as he thinks strangers in the street are out to get him. I asked him if he thought it was a bit strange but he said that he wasn't imagining it. He has no friends and is very anti social. Even I find it very difficult talking to him. His reactions go from one extreme to the other. Both of us are separated from my parents so they can't help. This has been going on for about two years. I have tried every thing I can think of to help him try to be a bit happier, but I don't seem to be helping.
You need to talk with your parents about this situation and work together to set boundaries with your brother. I would recommend that you request to go with your brother to see his counselor so the counselor can mediate this. Maybe the counselor needs to have a session or two with your brother and the whole family.
Since what you are doing is not working, I would encourage you to back off. Be a support person, but don't be a caretaker. Your brother does not appreciate it and it is not helping him to become independent. Paranoia needs professional intervention.
In the meantime, pray for him as well. Read about how you can know God personally. God cares and will help, but, your brother needs to want help as well from you, others and God.
~ Lynette J. Hoy , NCC, LCPC, is a Marriage and Family Counselor and National Certified Counselor, author and speaker. She is the Executive Chair of the Chicagoland CBWC: Connecting Business Women to Christ organization. Lynette is co-founder of CounselCare Connection, P.C. providing online & office counseling for individuals, couples and families. Lynette regularly presents marriage, assertiveness, grief and divorce recovery, anger and stress management seminars. You can read her story online.
©2004 by Lynette J. Hoy, NCC, LCPC
Read Lynette Hoy’s book, What’s Good About Anger? It can be ordered online at: www.whatsgoodaboutanger.com or Amazon.com.
Visit Mrs. Hoy’s other sites: www.counselcareconnection.org/pages/Lay-Counseling.html; www.counselcareconnection.org ; www.lifecareweb.com.
