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My husband travels frequently and is gone for a week or two at a time. We have four children under the age of eight. I have been trying to explain to him the impact that his travelling is having on our children, but he just gets defensive. He says I am blaming all our kids problems on him. I don't want to blame him for anything
When you talk to your husband, focus on how lonely and overwhelmed you feel while he is gone. Don't use the kids to make him feel guilty; that will backfire.
Kids under nine need a nurturing, firm Mom. Kids this young pretty much feel about life and Dad the same way Mom feels. They are picking up on your vibes. I have friends whose husbands also travel and Mom shows the kids a map and tells them where Dad is and what he is doing. They all pray for Dad, that God will keep him safe, etc. My friends' husbands call home each day and talk briefly with each kid and Mom. That seems to help. And kids love gifts - nothing expensive, just little things to say "I was thinking about you." For more help parenting solo, I'd suggest that you order the Love & Logic Parenting tapes, (1-800-338-4065) Helicopters, Drill Sergeants and Consultants and ask for their catalogue. You can also order it on amazon.com.
~ Dr. Ginger Gabriel is a licensed therapist and respected author, with a family counselling practice in California.
