Email 
Bookmark 
Print Advice
I have a friend who is going through a difficult trial--the same exact thing I went through 12 years ago. She responds to my attempts at empathy with glib spiritual statements. I’m afraid she isn’t dealing with her inner feelings.
The best advice I can give to you is an old saying: “Unsolicited advice is always heard as criticism.” It’s hard to see a friend go through pain similar to what you been through and not be able to help her. I’m assuming that you have shared your story with her, simply as your testimony of what you went through and how you found God faithful in the circumstances.
When and if she says anything that is remotely vulnerable, respond, “That sounds tough. If it were me, I think I’d be a little angry. How do you handle that anger?” She may respond with a surface spiritual platitude, but you have given her something to think about without preaching at her.
Be assured that the Holy Spirit is at work, letting your friend know that while her true self can be broken and hurting, this self can still love God. It’s the pretend self that can’t afford to look wounded or hurt and lacks authenticity. Just hang in there with her and maybe one day she will feel free enough to be real. Pray for her and continue to be her friend.
