Freedom From Fear - Occult Influences
by Jodi Kozan
I had an idyllic childhood with loving parents and siblings. I was involved with piano lessons, choir, voice lessons, volleyball, basketball, figure skating, girl scouts, student senate, drama, 4-H and cheerleading! Our family went to church fairly regularly, and I went to many bible camps, Sunday schools, youth retreats and confirmation classes. Although I was exposed to God, Christianity didn’t play a role in my life. I had many questions about life, death and morality but the world seemed to offer more realistic answers than the old fashioned Bible.
Like most children, I was curious. I liked to be bold and daring, make people laugh, and do the unexpected. I liked it when people liked me; I was desperate for love and friendship.
My curiosity began to lead me down a dark path when I began experimenting with a Ouijaa board and other spooky games. These games left their impression on my soul. Many nights were filled with fear because I would hear voices in my head and see dark, shadowy images. Although I was still attending church and acting as though Christianity played a role in my fear, I felt like I was dying inside and I was paralysed by fear. I had a Bible by my bedside and in times of fear I would reach for it to comfort me, hoping it would protect me although I never actually read it. Desperate to keep the fear and voices away, I collected crosses in my preteen years and created a shrine on my dresser. I lived in spiritual confusion throughout my adolescence. I finally opened up to my mom about the fear I was experiencing, and went to a psychiatrist who readily dismissed it as all in my head, conjured up fears that I could just forget about.
I got married in 1990 to a wonderful loving man. We moved 700 miles away from home. I thought my new life in a new country would give me peace and relieve me from my fear. But I still felt alone. After a few years, we decided to have a baby. Having a baby allowed me to slow down and quit work. I joined a moms group at a nearby church. Once a week about 100 moms and their children meet for a brunch, crafts, and a Bible study. This became the highlight of my week. I started to re-evaluate my life: I had a good husband, an adorable baby, and a nice home... why did I still feel unloved, unworthy and afraid?
I started asking more questions, attending church and outreach crusades. I started opening up more to friends about family issues, and personal hurts, and they prayed with me. In the depths of my sorrow, a friend asked me if I had ever received Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Saviour. She explained to me that God loves me but sin keeps me separate from Him. All I had to do was ask for forgiveness.
I went home and I couldn't sleep because my heart was burdened with fear. I began to pray and I reached for my Bible and held it to my chest as I had done for many years throughout my life. I went downstairs into my kitchen and prayed as I had never prayed before. I prayed against Satan and his stronghold on my life. I was tired of being afraid and feeling all alone in my pain. I couldn't believe the words coming out of my mouth! I put my faith in God. I prayed that Satan would flee and invited Jesus to be Lord of my life and asked Him into my heart. I wanted to surrender to God and allow Jesus to heal me and change me.
Because of my childhood occult influences, I feel led to pray against the occult deception that entices our young children through music, games and entertainment. In the fall of 1998, I was led to pray for the stores carrying Ouijaa boards. I put together a package asking that Ouijaa boards be pulled from stores and hand delivered them to the store managers of my city. I waited and prayed and after a few months received word that Wal-Mart pulled it off their shelves and Saan pulled it from stores all across Canada! Other stores have pulled it locally and some have done nothing. I praise the Lord for giving me that opportunity to fight against Satan.
When I reached out to Jesus with my fears, He heard and answered by giving me Himself. As His Word says in 1 Peter 2:9, He called me "out of the darkness into His wonderful light."
Whatever fear you feel, whatever discontent you feel, you can have a deeply satisfying and liberating relationship with God by praying by faith and asking the Holy Spirit to fill you. If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, God has given you His Holy Spirit to help you live life according to His perfect plan. Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:
Dear Father, I need you. I acknowledge that I have sinned against you by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.
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