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by Tanya WrightSteeped in a performance ethic from a very young age, life seemed to me to be one competitive event after another. By the time I reached university, I appeared competent and quick-witted on the outside but inside, I felt overwhelmed by confusion and loneliness.
I felt trapped in a meaningless maze of activity and absolutely hopeless to bring about any kind of genuine change. Not even the few people that I considered close to me had any awareness of the emotional turmoil that I felt. Eventually, I became immersed in a deep depression which made even the simplest of tasks seem beyond my ability to handle.
After dropping out of school, I tried a series of temporary pain-killers, including alcohol, destructive relationships, and periods of prolonged isolation. I felt myself sliding further and further away from any sense of purpose or direction. After several years of fruitless searching, I stumbled upon a live, late-night television program called, "Night Light". Over the ensuing months, I found myself rivetted to this program as it featured real people talking openly about their personal struggles to find meaning in their lives. In spite of the uniqueness of their individual stories, they all pointed emphatically to the life-changing impact of meeting Jesus one on one and finally believing that He is who He says He is.
For the first time in my life, the reality of the Christian message penetrated my heart. Healthy tears began to flow as I invited Jesus to come into my life. Transformations materialized in the living out of my daily life - I began to experience a new capacity for relating to, and caring for others. The sense of hopelessness and self-absorption which had gripped me so relentlessly began to ebb - in their place, a new sense of meaning and connectedness.
Ten years have passed since that pivotal period in my life. God has created a beautiful plan for my life, far surpassing any fantasies of my earlier days. I work alongside individuals who have been hospitalized with severe mental illness. I know how fragile the link to hope and meaning can be – knowing Jesus has made all the difference in my life.
I continue to grow in the context of relationships. The one-time hermit is now happily married. The past ten years have not been smooth sailing, but they have been "life more abundantly," just as He promises each and every person who comes to Him.
What about you? Are you searching for purpose and direction like I did? Do you crave meaning and hope?
Receiving Christ involves turning to God from self (repentance) and trusting Christ to come into our lives to forgive us of our sins and to make us what He wants us to be. Just to agree intellectually that Jesus Christ is the Son of God and that He died on the cross for our sins is not enough. Nor is it enough to have an emotional experience. We receive Jesus Christ by faith, as an act of our will.
You can receive Christ right now, by faith, through prayer. Praying is simply talking to God. God knows your heart and is not so concerned with your words as He is with the attitude of your heart. Here's a suggested prayer:
Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be.
If this prayer expresses the desire of your heart, pray it right now and Christ will come into your life as He promised.
If you invited Jesus Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you (Hebrews 13:5) and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you'll experience life to the fullest.
