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Whether married, single or single again, women experience scrutiny and criticism either verbally or through a disapproving glance.
Whether women should work outside the home has been hotly debated through the years by both men and women. Christians have used the Bible to support all sides of the argument, as if there were a cut-and-dried answer. No one has grappled with the issue more than the Christian woman.
The Challenge
Whether she is married, single or single again, she has undoubtedly experienced scrutiny or criticism either verbally or through a disapproving glance. Worse yet, she is often tormented by seemingly conflicting desires raging inside her heart. On the one hand, she sees where she can use her God-given talents in her home, church, and community. On the other hand, she sees how her gifts can be applied to the business world, whether she needs, or just plain wants, to work outside the home.
Besides, the world encourages her to leave the home and become "someone".
How does a woman of God resolve this emotion-packed issue? How can she be sure she is using her talents in a way that pleases the Lord? How does she choose between the responsibilities God has given her and the opportunities set before her? Just because there is an opportunity in the workplace that suits her talents doesn't mean God is the One opening the door.
The Truth
No one can answer this question for us as women. We can't even answer it for ourselves. The answer and the resulting inner peace can only be found in our personal relationship with Christ.
When we feel turmoil and uncertainty about these choices, it may be because we are depending on others and the world to guide and reward us, rather than relying on Christ. How do we know we are pursuing His desires for our lives and not our own desires?
First, by seeking the "mind of Christ." Proverbs 3:5-6 tells us we are not to lean on our own understanding, but to trust God and He will make our paths clear. As married women, God often speaks to us through a godly husband. For single women, He may speak through godly men and other women. But, we must filter all counsel through our own dialogue with God to confirm that it is really His voice we hear. If Christ truly lives in us, then we have His mind, hear what He speaks and walk where He walks.
Secondly, by seeking to understand how He has equipped us to do His work. From the foundation of the world, God has equipped each of us uniquely to serve Him (Psalm 139:13-16). He has given us each different gifts that He calls us to exercise accordingly (Romans 12:6).
Thirdly, by focussing on the work He has given us to do. Now that we know how He has gifted us, we must ask His specific guidance in where to use those gifts. We must lay aside our preconceived notions of what the world, our parents, husband, or well-meaning friends have told us and go to the Lord with an open mind.
Fourthly, by being willing to go wherever He leads us. "Father not my will, but Yours" (Mark 14:36). The Lord was able to completely submit to God's plan in the Garden of Gethsemane because He already knew His life mission was to please His Father. "I glorified Thee on the earth, having accomplished the work which Thou hast given Me to do." (John 17:4)
We must be willing to say, "Lord, I am willing to do whatever it is You want me to do." Period. No ifs, ands, or buts. What more could please the heart of God who has created us than for us to say "Here I am, Lord, send me." (Isaiah 6:8)
The Truth Applied
A few years ago, I was at a crossroads in my career. The world was telling me to take a high profile promotion that would supposedly reward me for my corporate loyalty and contribution through the years. However, it would also keep me on the road and away from my husband for weeks on end. At the same time, I felt a strong call to go into full time ministry. Where and how, I wasn't sure; so I earnestly sought God's counsel.
I began by spending more and more time with Him in prayer and study of His Word. I called on my husband as well as several trusted friends to pray with me for clarity in direction. I inventoried the many gifts God has given me, trying to understand how they all fit together. The next step was to determine how these gifts could be used in the ministry I was sure He was calling me to do. I was so confident in this calling that I turned down the promotion and left the organization that had made the "fabulous" offer.
But something strange happened along the way to my ministry. Instead of leading me to the mission field as I had conceived it. The Lord led me into the offices of CEO's who hired me to provide executive counsel for them and their businesses. In each case, I was able to share my faith with the person who most influenced the rest of the organization. I was doing no marketing, just following the Lord's lead. My husband just chuckled, "Isn't it awesome to see God work when you finally let go and follow Him!" Despite such strong confirmation, it was another six months before I finally realized I was already a full-time missionary. My mission field was the business world and specifically its leaders! I almost missed seeing the work He has given me because of my preconceived picture of what my work must be.
Lastly, we must take care to be good stewards of the gifts He has given us. In the parable of the talents, Christ tells the faithful servant, "Well done, good and faithful slave; you were faithful with a few things, I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master." (Matthew 25:23) We bring joy to the Father's heart when we use the talents He has given us to do the work He has chosen for us. The accolades from God, in the end, are the only important accolades.
The Answer
If we believe that God is Who He says He is, our sovereign God, then we can trust Him to show us His work wherever it is. . .inside or outside the home, for hire or not. If we have truly done these five things and have made our requests known to Him in "prayer and supplication with thanksgiving" (Phil.4:6-7), we will find the "peace that passeth all understanding."
For me, the question is not what specific roles God has set for women, but what work has He given me specifically to do. If that is the real question, it doesn't matter what I am doing as long as I am walking in His chosen path for me. He has shown me time and time again that He will reveal my work to me as I follow these five steps.
Emma Morris
Used by permission
Emma is an independent consultant who provides counsel to CEO's whose companies are going through periods of dramatic transition. She and a colleague, T.K. Kieran, are exploring this topic extensively for a book they are co-authoring. Emma lives in Atlanta with John, her husband of 21 years.
