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by Bonnie SchmidtThere's not much to life when you don't like people. I didn't value men and I thought women were boring - I didn't trust anyone.
Becoming a career woman enabled me to find fulfilment outside of relationships. I joined the Royal Canadian Mounted Police as a plain clothes officer in 1977, three years after women were first allowed in.
I really felt I was contributing to society as I investigated dangerous criminals. But I wasn't finding happiness, even though I was respected at work and made good money. The stress from my job got to me and I began to dislike people even more because of the horrible things I saw. I realized I couldn't be happy without liking people.
In 1983, I began searching for more to life. After attending church with my brother, I heard about a Christian bookstore near my house. There I bought a book that described how my life could have order and meaning through a relationship with Jesus. That was what I needed!
Alone in my bedroom, I asked Jesus to come into my life. I prayed something like this:
"Lord Jesus, I want to know you personally. Thank you for dying on the cross for my sins. I open the door of my life to you and ask you to come in as my Saviour and Lord. Take control of my life. Thank you for forgiving my sins and giving me eternal life. Make me the kind of woman you want me to be."
After that, my attitude towards people and my career changed. I resigned from the RCMP and I went to work helping women full time.
I got married just before my 30th birthday. When my marriage ended eight years later, I struggled with rejection, emotional pain, and loneliness. If my faith had been in anyone but Jesus Christ, I would not have survived. The fact that my relationship with Jesus is eternal took on a whole new meaning for me.
I have finally found fulfilment! Christ has replaced the coldness in my heart towards people with genuine love and concern.
What about you? Have you been hurt by relationships? Is your heart cold and hard? It doesn't have to be that way. We all laugh. We all hurt. We all make mistakes. We all dream. That's life. It's a journey. And God has a message for the journey–a message of His incredible love and His power to change our lives.
Does Bonnie's prayer express the desire of your heart? You can pray it right now, and Jesus Christ will come into your life, just as He promised.
If you invited Christ into your life, thank God often that He is in your life, that He will never leave you and that you have eternal life. As you learn more about your relationship with God, and how much He loves you, you'll experience life to the fullest.
~Bonnie Schmidt was a Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer for six years. In 1998, she returned to college full-time to study writing.
