Listening With Compassion

by Christine Schlottman

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God." II Corinthians 1:3,4

Several weeks ago, I received an urgent phone call from a friend that lives in another city. She was feeling overwhelmed by many situations in her life - conflicts in her marriage, struggles with her children, financial hardships, health problems and depression. She felt hopeless. She wondered if God really cared and understood her pain. Why had He not answered her prayers? Where was He?

My friend was not alone in her feelings or her questions. Many people around us are experiencing crises in their lives. Maybe even we are. How can we respond to others when they come to us for help? How can we model Christ's love in a practical way?

Listening with compassion is one of the most important gifts we can give to those who are hurting. It shows them that they are important and that we care for them. As I listened to my friend, I tried to hear beyond the words to understand her feelings. Giving her opportunity to express her confusing thoughts freely allowed her to better clarify her situation. She became calmer and more relaxed. I then asked her what friends or family lived in the area who might be a help to her in this crisis. Could she share about her needs with them? Could they care for the children so she could rest for an afternoon? Was there someone her husband could talk to? She named several people that she felt would be supportive.

We then dialoged about how she had coped with crises in the past. What had she done that was helpful? Harmful? How could she approach this situation in a different way? I affirmed the strengths that I saw in her as a woman and concrete ways in which I had seen God at work in her life in the past. Instead of giving advice, I encouraged her to seek to find creative ways to work through the situation.

God can use us to come alongside people undergoing trials and be a support to them, whether nearby or far away. Just as a lifeguard extends a buoy to one who is drowning, so we can extend words of hope and comfort to one in crisis.

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