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by Deborah PerryEach year I face the dreaded anniversary of a traumatic five-minute long event, an armed robbery, which has affected nearly every area of my life. As with many people, seasonal changes, which I call seasonal triggers, bring on a flood of memories of that event. In my case, the seasonal triggers are shortened days and colder, cloudier weather.
It could happen again
For several weeks each year, I feel like I am practically re-living the trauma. When the colder, cloudier weather comes, and I find myself walking alone in mall parking lots, restaurant parking lots, or any parking lot, I am usually thinking to myself, "It could happen to me again, right here, now."
Warm and cozy
During the cold months of the year, I spend a lot of time resting at home in an effort to calm my anxious soul. I'm not working off many pounds, but I have many hours to practice my deep breathing techniques, and slowly page through home decorating magazines while drinking hot cocoa.
As bedtime approaches, I prepare for sleeping by feeding myself a steady diet of peaceful thoughts, comedies or magazines, and keep my distance from scary or violent movies and news shows.
I am a flowering plant that takes great care to nurse back to health after a strong storm. The dream - of health - comes through much effort.
Hold on to your hats. I am flowering.
God has changed me in the three years since the armed robbery. I enjoy summers more than ever before, because I can spend time with my friends under the sun, soaking up the rays, being generally carefree about life. My love for fresh fruit, well-tended gardens, and building friendships has increased. Throughout the year, I surround myself with plenty of lights or sunshine, eat foods that are good for me, and nurture my sense of humor.
I am developing a greater ability to be content in any circumstance. Whether I am at home or at work, I often find myself stopping what I am doing to enjoy the profoundly simple pleasure of being in a safe place with a roof over my head. I need practically nothing else. And more than ever, I am seeing that '"things" don't have the ability to satisfy me. "And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content" (2 Timothy 6:8).
Like the Apostle Paul, I no longer cling to my life. He says in 2 Corinthians 1:9, "Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God who raises the dead."
I am now letting God fill me, rather than myself or the things of this world.
Complete acceptance
In a powerful way, God showed me that cold rainy December morning that He is ready to accept me into His heaven, no questions asked. When my time comes, I will not need to wait for a heavenly committee to deliberate or measure my actions to see if they were good enough. God's acceptance of me is fully based upon Jesus' payment for my sins and not one bit on my performance.
The cool thing about facing this silly dying thing every day in the winter is that I'm no longer afraid of death. And I have come to know Jesus much better than I used to. I can't wait to see Him face-to-face in heaven.
The Helper, the Healer
If you're struggling to find your way through a painful time in your life, let me encourage you to turn your heart toward the Helper Jesus promised, the Holy Spirit. He can give you the hope and strength you need, minute by minute. He can help you experience deep, abiding joy in your deepest parts - even during the most difficult circumstances.
The Holy Spirit took up residence in your life the minute you accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior and Lord. But you may not be experiencing all He longs to give you.
Why not pray this suggested prayer today? As you pray, remember that God cares not so much about your words as the intent of your heart.
Dear Father, I need You. I acknowledge that I have sinned against You by directing my own life. I thank You that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your Word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen.
