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by by Jeanne Zornes
There's nothing like a runaway schedule to teach us patience. I realize that on days I try to cram 30 hours into 24, and something inevitably goes wrong. Like the day I had a zillion errands and ran into a grocery store before picking up my daughter from kindergarten. The shopper checking out ahead of me had a cart piled as high as Mount Everest. I only had 13 items, and a schedule to keep! Inside I seethed. Why couldn't she let me slip ahead? As she glanced wearily at me, I faked a smile and felt a prick at my heart.
Did it really matter that I had to wait? I battle with wanting everything done right now. My children think "Do not dawdle" is the eleventh commandment. I finish my husband's sentences. I buy fabric and sew it up the next day. Then God reminds me: "Clothe yourselves with patience" (Colossians 3:12). He's helping me do that – to leave life's pace in His hands – through these patience-building exercises.
- Laugh off Murphy's Law. "If anything can go wrong, it will," goes that tongue-in-cheek "law”. At the last minute, chewing gum will snarl your kids' hair, you'll misplace the field trip form, and your hair dryer will die. Patience refuses to overreact to common inconveniences. Instead:
- Accept Murphy-isms with humor. Finding herself comb-less on a business trip, a friend "combed" her hair with a fork.
- Pre-plan each day. Ease the morning rush by starting a day the night before, by leaving a clean kitchen, prepared lunches in the refrigerator, and school bags waiting at the door.
- Lower your expectations. Impatient people grumble, nag, or consider themselves failures if things aren't perfect. But God accepts us even when we mess up: "Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you; he rises to show you compassion" (Isaiah 30:18a).
- Aspire for excellence instead of perfection. Kevin Leman writes in Measuring Up: "The perfectionist has to win to have a high self-esteem, while the pursuer of excellence can finish second and still maintain a healthy self-image."
- Do it for God, not for fame. Jane, who finished university with a nearly-perfect academic record, had quit piano lessons when she was twelve. Then her small church asked her to play piano for services. "My fingers felt like logs," she said. "I died over every mistake on simple hymns. But when I realized God wasn't grading my performance, I enjoyed serving my church this way."
- Allow others to fail you. Like cats petted backwards, impatient people tend to attack others when things aren't done right. But Proverbs 19:11 advises: "A man's wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense."
- Realize people are like jigsaw puzzles – sometimes they don't fit together perfectly. We tend to be leaders, doers, cheerleaders or watchers. Through the strengths and weaknesses of each personality type, we develop patience.
- Pick your battles. Major on the majors, like relationships. Dora liked a tidy house but her roommates didn't share her standards. "God knew I needed to learn flexibility," she admits. "I got something better than a neat home. I learned how to really care for people."
- Realize waiting builds faith. When we feel like permanent residents of God's waiting room, He's still at work.
- Shore up your patience with scripture. Look up verses about "trust" or "waiting," and write them out on 3x5 cards. Post them around the house and memorize them.
- Trust God to push your limits. What you consider big may be little to Him. Soon after Darlene's family moved, they had an auto accident, a flooded basement, colds and pneumonia, backs go out, and pets die. But trusting God for solutions strengthened them later for some major life decisions.
- Replace fretting with prayer. We tell our fussy children, "Fussing won't get you what you want." God gives us the same advice: "Do not fret. It only leads to evil" (Psalm 37:8).
- Turn away from pity parties. Instead, ask others to pray with you over situations that try your patience.
- Believe God is orchestrating an answer. Despite her graduate degree and experience, Marty struggled to find a job. As she took low-skill jobs, she continued trusting promises from Psalm 27:13-14 about waiting on God. When finally hired in a dream job, she knew God had made it happen.
Nineteenth century preacher Phillips Brooks once said, "I'm in a hurry, but God isn't." God has all the time in the universe. He knows that taming our impatience is just one more way to help us trust and love Him. As for the Everest shopping cart day: I was late to pick up my daughter and had to apologize to her and her teacher. Next time, though, I got there a little ahead of time – and actually enjoyed waiting!
~ Jeanne Zornes is an author and conference speaker from Washington state. She has written seven books, including "When I Prayed for Patience... God Let Me Have It!" (Kregel)
