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by Jane Whitmore
Late last year I realized I was fooling myself.
I grew up in a Christian home and have been taught to tithe my entire life. I can still remember the little blue tin I put the tithe from my paper route into. In my head I knew that all the money was God’s money. I knew that tithing was a discipline. But somehow, in the last year or two, I managed to convince myself that as long as I was giving something, somewhere, actually tithing was less important. Late last year I was quite surprised to discover the truth that lay at the heart of my self-deception.
Why don’t you trust me?
I was driving home one day in December. I was thinking about the idea of giving, maybe it was the season. Out of nowhere God spoke very clearly to me, “Why don’t you trust me?” He asked. I went on the defensive. “What do you mean?” I thought. I trust God. I’ve trusted Him almost my entire life. But as I thought about my tithing, or rather the lack of it, I realized that I had allowed myself to believe that I couldn’t afford it.
I thought that I had allowed my tithing to slip because I was giving elsewhere. And to be fair, I was. However, and this is the critical difference, I was giving out of the bottom, out of the leftovers, and when I felt I could afford it. God very clearly asks us to give off the top, before anything else, and trust Him with the results. Major difference.
Believing the lie that I couldn't afford to tithe
Without realizing it, I was acting on the belief that I had to take care of my finances. I thought that if I gave 10% there wouldn’t be enough left to meet my expenses. At the heart of that belief were the words that God spoke in the car. He was right. When it came to money, in my heart I didn’t trust Him. Clearly God and I had some work to do.
As I started to think about it something else became very clear: finances can change in heartbeat. I thought of all of the things outside of my control that could affect finances – a fender bender, getting sick and missing work, accidentally breaking something. Of all the areas of my life to try and hang on to, finances looked like an area where I needed more of God, not less of Him. Why was I trying so hard to hang on to something that was clearly safer in God’s hands? I had fallen into the trap of believing that I couldn’t afford to tithe.
Tithing is a discipline of the heart, not the wallet
No matter what kind of budget you’re working with, 10% looks like a lot. I used to think that tithing was a discipline because you had to hand something over week after week. Now I believe that tithing is a discipline because it says to God “I trust you with my resources so much that I’m going to put my money out of my own reach so that You can use it your way.”
It’s not an easy thing to do. I decided that at the beginning of the year I would start tithing regularly. I had decided on a trial amount and quickly realized how ridiculous that was. How could I step out in faith if I was still holding back? I knew that for me, I had to start with a full 10%. I took the money out in cash to be sure that I didn’t accidentally spend it. I remember putting it in the offering envelope and gasping a little. It looked like a lot of money. I said a very simple little prayer “Dear God, Please take this and spend it much better than I could. Remind me that You promised to take care of me. Help me to spend wisely. Amen.”
Sunday came and I put the little envelope in the offering. Two weeks came and went and the other 90% lasted just fine until payday. I wish I could say that I wasn’t surprised. I was. Week after week there were groceries in my cupboards and gas in my car. It was, as God had promised it would be, enough.
It’s almost the end of the year now and by God’s grace I can say that tithing is almost a habit. It is always an act of surrender but it is also a reminder that God’s economy is not the same as mine. He can take my little bit and use it to bless someone in ways I could never imagine. He can take the resources I have and make them just exactly what I need. Finally, almost a year later, I’m not so surprised.
If you have struggled in the area of tithing, be encouraged that God doesn’t ask us to go it alone. Come to Him with your fears and hesitations, ask for His Spirit to give you the will to be obedient and to stand by you as you see it through.
God wants to be our leverage in living, empowering us to live as He has told us to live. Do you need more of God in your life to help you walk in obedience? Ask God to come alongside you as you seek to serve Him. Ask for His Spirit to bring out the fruit of the Spirit in your life. Why not pray this simple prayer and by faith invite Him to fill you with His Spirit:
"Dear Father, I need you. I acknowledge that I have sinned against you by directing my own life. I thank you that You have forgiven my sins through Christ's death on the cross for me. I now invite Christ to again take His place on the throne of my life. Fill me with the Holy Spirit as You commanded me to be filled, and as You promised in Your word that You would do if I asked in faith. I pray this in the name of Jesus. As an expression of my faith, I thank You for directing my life and for filling me with the Holy Spirit. Amen."
More on trust:
Conquering fear
Praying the hardest prayers
