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by Judy Douglass
Space. I love space. Maybe it's because I grew up in Texas. I love having a big house and a spacious neighborhood. I even like my big van. But far more important to me than physical space is the non-tangible space of privacy and solitude.
I think it would be easy for me to build a protective wall around myself to make sure that I had plenty of emotional space. Therefore, the Lord has constantly sent people into my life - usually people I love - to challenge both my physical and emotional place. As a single I loved it when I had enough seniority among my roommates to have my own room. When I got married, I loved sharing a room with Steve. But when I was encouraged, when Steve went out of town, to have someone come and stay with me, I said no. I couldn't imagine wanting to fill up my space with another person.
Over the years God has sent several people to live with us and challenge my space. First there was Steve's dad. Then at two different times, Steve's brother Bradd. His different values really pushed me, especially as he influenced my children. Certainly children fill lots of space - and Debbie and Michelle have been great tools in God's hand for my growth. Josh has been an incredible "space invader." The noise and mess that he and his friends generate seem to fill the entire house. And his need for constant supervision and encouragement frequently press my time and my emotions.
Now my mother-in-law is living with us. She brings lots of pleasure and lots of help, but her neediness can also be a challenge. Then there are the friends I love and the staff I care so much for, many of whom have a lot of needs. I do care. I do love. But sometimes I just want to escape. I want some space.
There's so much that the Lord seems to want to do in my life in this arena, and I seem to be a very slow learner. Certainly it's OK for me to establish a protective space with appropriate boundaries both physically and emotionally, but even that will be infringed on sometimes.
Just look at the model Jesus has given us. He gave us the vast space of heaven to limit Himself to a human body in an oppressive, sinful world. While here He let people - needy, hurting people - invade His space every day. He told us to love as He loved, that is to lay down our lives for those we love. Maybe that will mean death, as it did for Him. But primarily, for me, it seems to happen where I live - in time and space. So to love is to willingly give up my time and space for another person.
So how do I, a space needy person, survive this constant barrage of "space invasion"? Again, Jesus models the answer. He sought His Father. He took wonderful, private moments with His Daddy. In God's presence is all the space I could ever need. When people and circumstances press in, or even seem to close in, His presence opens the doors and windows of my soul. Then light and fresh air and freedom pour in and fill me up. When I make Him my space, only what He allows in permeates my borders.
This is my prayer for myself and for you if you want it:
"Oh Lord, be my space. Allow me to let in all those You send me. Enable me to find my solitude and refreshment in You. May I not stiff-arm anyone seeking to enter my space, but rather welcome them to join me in Your presence."
~ Judy Douglass has been on the staff of Campus Crusade for Christ since 1964 and currently assists her husband, Steve, in giving leadership to the movement. She is the founding editor of Worldwide Challenge magazine and the author of three books, Single and Complete, He Loves Me and What Can a Mother Do? Click here to e-mail Judy.
