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by by Rhonda RheaHave you noticed that anger seems to be in fashion in some spheres? Some sports figures even brag that they “get up” for the game by fueling their anger. (For Pete’s sake, why don’t they just go out and rent a teenager?)
Kids at every age often know exactly how to find our anger buttons – and then they jump up and down on them. It’s usually the little things that make us crazy. It’s easiest for me, for example, to lose my cool when we’re running late. For the record, that’s a bi-daily anger test. It seems the morning that the alarm doesn’t go off and the dryer doesn’t get the clothes completely dry, the kids shift into some sort of alternate time reality. It’s like a bad “Twilight Zone” episode.
One of those mornings I was barking out orders left and right when I noticed one of my children just standing in the kitchen staring at the orange juice can. I crabbed, “Why in the world are you just standing and staring when you don’t even have your jeans on???” The answer: “Mom, it says, ‘Concentrate.’”
I hate the way anger turns me into a crab. And it inspires all kinds of selfishness. It’s usually about my imaginary rights being violated – selfishness to the max. That’s what inspired me to come up with the crustacean line of the year: “When you’re crabby, it’s easy to be a little shell-fish.”
There is a righteous anger, but few of us experience that one. Let’s face it, ours is almost always of the selfish variety. And what does anger really produce? The fastest time at the swim meet? One less tardy at school? Maybe, but at what cost? While swimming the fastest time and having the best on-time record at school, we’re spewing meanness and crabbiness. Ephesians 4:31-32 says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you.” (NIV)
Anger, bitterness and crabbiness? Get rid of ‘em! We’re instructed to put away anger and the like, but we’re not left wondering what should replace it. According to verse 32, we’re to put on kindness, tenderheartedness and forgiveness, with our Heavenly Father as our example.
Learning what to put away and what to put on can help you keep your cool when you discover that the kids have been playing deep-sea diver in your aquarium – with the cat. Even if you happen to find your six-year-old’s broccoli from last week under the cover of your hot rollers, you can look to the Lord and find the strength to get rid of anger and put on a tender heart. Anger is not the motivational tool it’s cracked up to be. You’ll find greater reward doing it Jesus’ way – showing compassion and forgiveness – even if you didn’t make the broccoli discovery until after you plugged in the rollers.
~ Rhonda Rhea lives in the St. Louis area, where she juggles her writing and speaking ministries around chasing her five children and running to keep up with her pastoring husband, Richie. Look for her new book, Amusing Grace, at your local Christian bookstore. View her website here.
