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by Christie HoosIn June of 1999 my life was changed forever. In my 6th month of pregnancy my son Noah was stillborn. It seemed obscene that the rest of the world carried on as if nothing had happened. I wondered if I would ever be normal again. It was in the early hours of the morning that I discovered the internet. Unable to sleep, wandering my all too quiet house, I turned to it for comfort and understanding. I read hundreds of stories like my own. Message boards, chat rooms, e-mail loops – foreign terms weeks before were now a lifeline.
I put my amateur computer skills and hours of insomnia to work building a website for my son (www.noahsplace.com). A friend from Women Today Online approached me to write an article about our experience. God used these projects to encourage and comfort me.
Before I knew it I was an official “e-mail mentor.” The messages I get from Women Today and Noah’s website are most often from grieving moms or their families. Every story of miscarriage or stillbirth is different. Though it is an all too common tragedy there is nothing ordinary about a broken heart. It is often a lonely and misunderstood grief. At times this ministry is a real stretch for me. I have shed many, many tears over my computer keyboard. The death of a child leaves us angry and confused. There is not such thing as easy answers; no short cuts or quick fixes for grief.
Some e-mails I receive challenge everything I love and hold dear. Some women I talk to are turning their backs on their faith. Sometimes I don’t hear back from these women and I wonder if I have hurt or offended them. I have to trust that God will answer my requests for wisdom and gentleness. This is His work, not mine. As my husband reminds me frequently, I am not the Holy Spirit.
Most often I find myself marvelling at how perfectly suited this ministry is to my life and my personality. It fits around my schedule as a stay at home mom of two small children. It is flexible enough to allow me to take breaks as life’s seasons dictate. The nature of e-mail allows me to cut through small talk (not my favourite thing) and dig into deeper topics almost instantly. In sharing the gospel and speaking scripture into a life there is little awkwardness or fear. I find it much easier to speak boldly and eloquently. If only I could rewrite and perfect what I’m going to say in real life! In some ways it feels too easy to be considered “real” ministry.
Most rewarding of all have been the relationships I have formed. I have been privileged to hear from a few women who came to faith in Christ through the websites. I have been encouraged to see many grow and flourish spiritually even as they grieve. I have learned so much from these amazing women.
There are a handful of my e-mail buddies with whom I have stayed in contact with for years. One in particular I spoke to on the phone often and even met in person a few times. When God moved our family halfway across the country we landed in her backyard. She is now one of my best friends IRL (in real life)!
This fall we relived our worst nightmare. In the 5th month of pregnancy we learned that our baby had died. It has been devastating to grieve another son – Simon. Now many of the same women whom I “mentored” over the years are supporting me. Their prayers and encouragement have carried me. In my work as an e-mail mentor I have received much more than I have given.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
~ Christie is a stay at home mom to Lydia (3 ½) and Chloe (1 ½). Her husband Glen works for Family Life Canada. They are expecting their 5th child on October 8th.
