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by Winsome SmithDownload our free e-book for brides AND get one-on-one coaching as you prepare for your wedding!
One challenge as you get to know one another in marriage is that you eventually findoutthereare“warts.”Suddenly you find some imperfection,a spot that you wish would disappear. Maybe you knew that it was there, and hoped he would never see it.
How do you respond to warts? If they are your own, maybe you’d like to hide them, to pretend they are not there. Maybe explaining them away is your style. “My mother has a wart just like this, and so does my sister. It’s normal.” Comparison is a frequent option for some; “Yes, I’ve got imperfections, but you should see his!”
Your response may be dictated by the type of “wart.” Is it some quirk of personality or temperament? Do you bounce out of bed each morning, and just assume he knows about it? Learning to know yourself and thanking God for how He made you is a good thing. Learning to know your differences within the marriage, while celebrating how special God made you, can be a challenge and a blessing to both of you.
Is your “wart” an area where you need to grow? Balancing a checkbook can be challenging for some; meal planning, taxes or punctuality may be a growth area for others. When you findaweakarea,don’t be afraid to learn and grow. If it’s something you need help with, ask your spouse or a friend to assist you. Community schools or a local church may offer classes, and learning along with others may work well for you. You can also findexcellentresources online or in your local library.
Many young couples have found encouragement in getting together with an older couple they respect. You may find they have faced struggles similar to those you are now faced with, and have learned lessons that they’re willing to share.
Do you struggle with an area of sin? God wants to help you. Acknowledge those areas, confess known sin to God (and perhaps to your spouse or others), and ask for the Holy Spirit to empower you to walk in victory. Find Scriptures that speak to the area, and meditate on them. Consider asking a trusted friend to pray with and for you. If an area seems to be a stronghold in your life, consider asking a godly friend, pastor or counselor for insight and accountability.
In facing your own warts, it’s vital to remember the truth expressed in the song many of us have known since childhood: “Jesus loves me, this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” He loves you as you are, and sees you as who you could become, dear one. No matter what you have or haven’t done, His love for you runs deep and strong.
May you find that within your marriage you have a safe place to learn and grow!
Lord, I find that I have “warts.” There are things that I don’t always like about myself. You have chosen to love me, though, and in that love I’m finding a safe place to learn to love myself and to grow.
Some of these areas, though, are sin. I ask that You forgive me for (name the sin that He brings to mind, if He has) and cleanse me. Give me the strength through Your Holy Spirit to choose Your way over my own. Please take the throne in my life, once again, and help me to walk in victory. Thank You for forgiving me. Amen.
~Winsome Smith enjoys sharing God's goodness and faithfulness with ladies in the online chat ministry at Christian Women Today .
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