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by Lynette HoyGiver-Taker Inventory:
Circle the statements which are true in your significant relationship(SR).
Are you:
- The one who usually calls?
- The person who feels disrespected?
- The person cleaning up after other people?
- The person who listens and shows empathy?
- The person who gives up his/her choice to make him/her happy?
- The person who does extra work around the house (so my spouse can rest)?
- The one who works extra hours to pay more bills?
- The person who is more affectionate?
- The one who keeps the peace at all costs?
- The person who gives special gifts to him/her?
- The one who feels manipulated?
- The person who feels stepped on?
- The one who is resentful for caving in?
- The one who gives much more attention to him/her?
- The one who has to account for your day?
Total:_________
Total your scores from this column. Each statement you circle = one point.
1-7 = Giver
7-15 = Codependent Giver
Circle the statements which are true.
Does your spouse or significant other:
- Take advantage of your desire to help?
- Rarely call you?
- Rarely help with your needs?
- Disrespect you?
- Care only about their needs?
- Overlook your interests or choices?
- Demand you do things their way?
- Tend to shirk their responsibility?
- Tend to expect you to make ends meet?
- Abuse you verbally or physically?
- Often tell you to do one more thing?
- Tend to distrust you?
- Hide the truth from you?
- Seem to not appreciate you or the things you do?
- Plan activities without asking for your input?
- Harass you and intimidate you?
- Demand you perform sexual acts you would rather not?
Total: ________
Total the questions in this column you circled. Each statement = one point.
1-6 = Taker
6-16 = Egotistical Taker
If you circled any of these: #4, 7, 10, 16 and/or 17 – your spouse or significant other is abusive.
