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by Sheryl Soukotta
As a single woman it’s easy for me to feel all alone even in a crowded room of many other singles. But I’m determined not to let it get the better of me. There’s more to life than men, and by focusing on those other things, I’m maximizing my life as a single woman. Here are my suggestions for living that life.
- Know who you are - One of my favorite verses is in Zephaniah 3:17 which says, “He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.” When we get a picture of just how precious we are to God, we can’t help but enjoy life. Life is worth living because He is worth living for.
When we get to the “I should be married by now” stage, it’s easy to compare ourselves to others. But God created you uniquely and He has given you specific gifts that you can use to touch other people’s lives. Don’t wait for God to bring a man into your life to “complete” you. You are already complete if you are a child of God.
You are single today because He wants you to be. There are some things in life that you can only accomplish in this particular season of life.
When God called Moses to speak to Pharaoh about releasing the Israelites from slavery in Egypt, He asked Moses to use what was already in his hand, his staff. He didn’t ask Moses to use something he didn’t have.
What's in your hand? What are your strengths? What are the special gifts that God has given you that you could use today to bless somebody?
- Have a great support network - "No man (or woman) is an island." I never realized how much I needed good, supportive friends until my recent breakup with my boyfriend. God has brought some wonderful people into my life, all of whom play different roles. I have an accountability friend who keeps me on track by asking me the hard questions, I have a ministry friend who plays a role similar to mine in her church, and I have many friends with whom I can just have fun and be myself.
I also have a couple of close guy friends. Our relationships are so secure that we know there will never be anything more to our friendship; they are “safe” guys. I have found it helpful to understand a male’s perspective on many things I may be dealing with in my life.
- Have fun - This year on Valentine’s Day, my roommates and I decided we would have a girls' night at our place for all our single friends. We had a lot of fun making the invitations (so much fun that I’ve found a new hobby of making cards!) and planning the menu, decorations and so on.
Of course, we all still have “down” days and we have to allow yourself to go through them. But don’t stay there. Watching soppy love movies or reading romance novels doesn’t help, so stay away from those. Here are some things you could do instead:
- Have a girls’ night
- Enjoy a regular “pamper yourself” day
- Find a hobby
- Aim to meet one new person every week
- Travel
- Attend a women’s conference
- Get some exercise.
Give your hand a go at different things if you’re unsure of your place in God's kingdom. Look for opportunities to serve people and to serve God. In the meantime, if God happens to bring alongside you someone who seems to be running at the same pace and direction as you, that’s awesome! But if not, keep serving anyway. The Bible says that when we get to heaven we will have to give an account for what we did with our time, so let’s make the most of every day.
